I want to find out what the rights homosexual couples want in America are. Why do these rights matter to them? Why should it matter to me? Why are people opposed to giving gays these rights? I wanted to find this out since I have a 32 year old brother and a 36 year old sister that are gay and one is infected with HIV. My siblings are productive members of society that work hard and are morale beings. So why can't they have the same rights heterosexual couples have?
To find this out, I went out and interviewed my brother and a few of his gay friends along with my sister and her partner. To get the opposition's perspective, I talked with one of my friends that is a strict LDS member along with interviewing my uncle who is also a conservative. I also watched the movie "Milk" which is about a man named Harvey Milk who fights for gay rights in San Francisco and gets elected as a city official after many failed attempts but then is murdered by his fellow elected official Dan White.
What I discovered is every gay couple wants to be thought of as an equal. As my sister said, "We're both human beings. We're not asking to marry a dog or something ridiculous like that. We just want to confirm our union and have the same rights that are given to a married couple." I asked her if she wants same-sex marriage or if she'd be happy with a civil union and she told me she isn't too concerned about what it's called, she just wants the same rights and options that a heterosexual couple has.
My brother had a differing opinion though. He doesn't see why gays cannot get married and doesn't see how straight Americans can see marriage as a sacred bond between only a man and a woman when it's been abused and not seen as much many times before. As he said, "Why are two people that are the same sex that are deeply in love defiling what marriage is to some, but a straight couple can get married in Vegas after meeting the day before in a drive-thru wedding chapel and then get it annulled the next day. How is that not breaking away what a marriage truly is supposed to be?" My brother also wants the same rights married couples have when visiting family in the hospital. He was recently infected with HIV and is worried that if something were to happen to him, his significant other would have absolutely no right to see him in the hospital. It would also be much more difficult for him to leave things to his partner after his death and he still feels it's unfair that they don't get any of the tax benefits a married couple has. To quote my brother's friend Mike, "I don't understand why people decide to deny me certain rights that others have. I've had numerous ignorant people tell me, 'Why don't you just become straight?' It angers me so much and I then ask them, 'Could truly become attracted to the same sex if you were straight? And I don't mean can you have sex, can you actually be physically turned on and stimulated like you are with the opposite sex?' Of course they say no but then still don't agree with me. It's such a double standard."
I then spoke to my friend Andrew about the topic. I've known him since I was five years old and he's accepting of my brother and sister since he knows they're good people, but believes homosexuality is very wrong and is a sin. When asking him why he opposes gay marriage and gay rights, he told me that he believes marriage is a bond between man, woman and God himself and that it was only meant for a man and woman. Because of this, he opposes gay marriage and doesn't believe homosexuals should ever be allowed to marry. When I asked him about civil unions though, he told me that he'd be open for discussion on it since he does agree that gay couples should be able to see each other when one is admitted to a hospital, but is reluctant about giving the same tax benefits to gay couples that married couples have because, "Those rights are given to married couples by our country because our country wants to encourage the family unit. It wants to encourage married couples to have children and to do God's will and that's why the government helps them by reducing their taxes. A gay couple shouldn't have children so they shouldn't have the same tax benefits."
I then talked to my uncle who is not related to my two gay siblings. He is pretty conservative and disagrees with gay marriage. He told me that if gays were allowed to marry, it would weaken the meaning of marriage as a whole. If gay couples are allowed to marry, then the meaning of marriage is weakened and people would get divorced more often since people would not take it as seriously. He also feels gays are more likely to have sexual relations with people outside of his or her union and wouldn't take the vows of marriage as seriously as a straight couple would. I also quote him as saying, "If a gay couple can marry, then some weirdo is going to try and argue that because they can, why can't he can marry his robot?"
In my findings, I found that saying that gay couples can't marry because it's going to lead to other people wanting to marry things like animals and inanimate objects sounds like a very uneducated response to me. The ones that are most against gay rights are the ones that either cling to religion or just haven't been around or are not educated about gay culture. It reminds me of when the United States put every one of Japanese descent into camps during World War II thinking that they'd betray the United States because Japan attacked us even if they were born here. It's not good to stereotype a whole group based on the actions of a few.
I also came to realize that gays just want to be viewed as equals. Most feel they're seen as lesser members of society and are even subjected to physical violence because of their sexual orientation. It reminds me of the black rights movement somewhat but not as severe since blacks had a lot more rough history in America. Blacks had very few rights if any and came from a slave past, so in those parts they're different, but they also wanted the same rights and to be accepted for who they are. Unless there's a clear medical reason as to why people become homosexual, I believe it will be hard to convince the religious community that homosexuals are born that way.
This project as a whole has opened my eyes into different view points. It has helped me understand even more that we are all human and we all want to feel important and equal to one another. One aspect of a democracy is that every person has an equal say and equal rights as the next person, but America doesn't always hold itself to that. With religion teaching what most believe as the word of God, it can often conflict with some people's democratic views. This project has taught me to be open to new people and to hear them out. If something is strange, give it a chance and try to learn about it before dismissing it as wrong. Life is all about experiences and learning from new and outside sources and to not indulge when you have the opportunity to learn from new things, you're robbing yourself of a fulfilling life. I am so glad I went out and talked to all these people about this topic rather than just reading about it. I feel connecting with the people I've talked to and interacting with them really helped me understand the passion they have for what they believe in and how much they're willing to fight for it whether it be in favor or against gay marriage.
Here's one more experience under my belt that I believe has made me a stronger and more intelligent person!
These picture are located on my Flickr account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/adriand19/sets/72157624499948073/
